I dreamt there was a nearby mobile building that served as the headquarters for local EGL community meetups. It was small, like a mobile home, and all it had was a bedroom, kitchen, and living room. I tried attending one of the meetups, but the women there were overwhelming me, ambushing me with questions and compliments. it seemed like to fit in and assimilate, you needed to be as equally extroverted, but it was all too much for me and i decided i wanted to be alone and not partake in the community. the main event happening in my dream was that the building would regularly have shootings and robberies attempted by men, and the women were so used to this regular occurance that they'd calmly fight back, duck down until the shooting was over, or laugh it off. i would run away in fear as i didn't wanna be killed. it seemed like this small lolita community was a consistent target for hate crimes.

i dreamt that me and my childhood best friend were at disneyland or some sort of massive theme park. we were trying to get to the pier by the ocean but kept getting lost. we ultimately failed because my friend was extremely hyperfixated on the way she looked, and couldn't stand how ugly she had felt. i kept trying to reassure her, but to no avail. she eventually spiraled in a bath and body works over the price of wallflower plug-ins, hoping these items would solve her problems.

i dreamt that i was having a manic episode. it was very very early in the morning, maybe about 4 AM, and i drove all the way to yosemite national park all by myself, before the park even opened. i was the first person to arrive that day. the sun started barely rising and i hiked by myself all day. i felt so free and truly alive

i had many lucid dreams and false awakenings on this night. 1) i dreamt that i needed to pick up mom from the parking lot after work but it was like 5 am in the morning. she called me on the phone to pick her up, my brother was watching tv and my biological dad was there. the floor was a mess and i was picking up trash everywhere. 2) i dreamt i was in some religious church or community building full of religious people, but i wasn't sure what faith it was. they were all white people and i was lucid at this time because i was paying close attention to what people were saying, but all of it was gibberish! i found another girl who was similar to me and stuck in this strange situation, but we didn't stick together as she found someone cooler. 3) i dreamt i kept waking up in the bedroom of my old house and my mom was sleeping in a bed next to me, and i would constantly try to wake her up or find her. i think i was scared she would die or disappear. 4) i had a false awakening, again in my old bedroom where i was peeing my pants and trying to move as much as possible in order to actually wake up, then i started seizing while conscious and fell off the bed. this kept happening, where i was so fearful and angry that i wasn't truly waking up. each time i *woke up*, there was always something strange and off about it. 5) while lucid, i went into my old house's bathroom and tried looking in the mirror wake up, but the light wouldn't turn on and the door locked itself so i was stuck in pitch black darkness trying to force myself awake as much as i could. i was horrified

i dreamt i was at my old house and i remember contacting a woman on craigslist who was trying to sell something. she showed up at my house but she was kind of insane

i had a nightmare last night. i felt what it was truly like to be stalked. how it started: i went by myself to an art supply store. what was odd was that the store was completely empty, with no employees either. yet the lights were on and the doors were open. since there was no one there, i went to the self checkout but decided to steal the items i had. well... in the middle of packing my items into a bag, i got a text message from a random number saying "i know where you are." i responded, "really? where am i?", "art supply store." i got scared and panicked and looked around me. i felt like i was being watched. was it someone watching the security cameras? but how did they get my number? it was night time as well and everything was so quiet. stupidly, i drove by myself to a dark ATM machine to get cash and I tried to do it as quickly as possible bc i felt like i was being followed and watched. i ran back to my car and locked the doors.

i got home (this was my old house), and put the supplies onto my bed. i then got a text saying “i know you’re home now. nice supplies”. i was horrified now. how was i being watched in my own home? i got into bed and tried sleeping. the next day, my mom was sent photos of me in bed that the stalker took. the camera had been directly above me but i did not see it. at this point, i should have called the cops, but in the dream i never considered that. i texted my boyfriend all the photos, screenshots, and evidence of my stalker. i received even more text messages from this person but i don’t remember what they said. the next thing i remember was that i was laying down and then i looked up and saw the camera attached to the ceiling, i didn’t know what to do. i decided to grab the camera from the ceiling and inspect it. i noticed it had a bunch of writing and messages written on it. i accidentally pressed a button that triggered the camera to go flying towards my backyard, and i assumed that this feature enabled the camera to go and fly back to its owner.

i ran and managed to be fast enough to grab the camera and take it back. i wanted to inspect it more and take pictures and read the messages that were on it. by this time, i think that my stalker knew that i knew about the camera and was trying to get it back. while inspecting the camera, all of a sudden a strange man walked in through the back door and i knew in that instant that that was the stalker. i knew i should have locked all the doors and call the cops but i wasn’t fast enough. i confronted the man who is now in our house, and he kept trying to stab me and hurt me with a knife, however, the knife was so dull that he did not manage to stab me. i was able to use my words to convince him not to hurt me. we walked into the backyard and tried talking peacefully and he said he wanted to go for a walk with me to talk things out. but my mom started hitting him but i told her to get off him because me and him were going to talk about why this is happening. i asked him if it’s OK if I go back inside to change my clothes and put on shoes and he said yes. i realized too late that this was a bad idea because i should not have left my mom alone with this man. while changing my clothes, I kept looking for a weapon or a gun, and never in my life had i wished so badly that i had a gun but i didn’t. i stepped outside and there were now many people trying to kidnap my brother and my mom. i was screaming and devastated and freaking out, they were trying to stuff my brother inside a trash bag and i could hear his screams. but, i was even more worried about my mom because i couldn’t hear her screams. i walked past my brother and towards my mom and a group of people were stuffing her in a barrel and pouring cement on her. i was so angry and pulled her out. i had no idea who any of these people were or what their motive is for, trying to stalk me, and harm my family. and i woke up.

it's hard to make any sense of this because i am not deeply aware of the complexities of my unconscious mind. i just live with it but have no idea what is lurking there. looking back, i can only make guesses as to who this group of people was, and why they were after my family. i have a few explanations, but this is only my own interpretation. first, i think that the man was a stalker who was obsessed with me, and wanted to kidnap me and perhaps he had a whole cult/family who was willing to help him. another theory i have is that this group of people was somehow involved with my dad, and they were the cult trying to murder us because the perceived us as a threat to my dad, who was the leader of the cult. so what is the meaning of this dream? i think it's a warning to me that i should be careful about who i let into my life. there are dangerous people out there and i am a kind person. i do remember that in the dream i thought that my stalker was _____ ______. i think this is a warning that I should stay away from people like that, because i remember the overwhelming amount of fear i felt, and that feeling of being watched. on top of that, i think this dream is just a manifestation of my fears because I witnessed the people i loved getting hurt and it was painful to witness.